SCA7 Through My Eyes

My cousin Callie has a powerful story.  I hope that what follows truly captures who she was and her example.  She has significantly influenced me.  She was part of my family and one of my best friends.  Remembering her while writing this has brought many tears, mostly happy ones.  I love her and am so grateful she was part of my life.  I know that there are many who feel the same way.  She touched so many lives!

Callie was Scott and Carolyn’s first child.  She was followed by her brother Lance two years later.  Carolyn did mot have any more children since she was already showing symptoms of SCA7, and her health was only getting worse.  Despite Carolyn having the disease and later finding out that both Callie and Lance inherited it, this family of four was very happy.  It was so neat to see.

Callie was a big help to her mom throughout her life.  She noticed her mom trying so hard to do the house hold chores yet struggling because of her failing abilities.  When Carolyn could no longer take care of and temporally serve her family, Callie saw the sadness in her mom’s eyes.  Callie understood that being able to do these things was a privilege and blessing. As such, when her mom needed help, she jumped right in willingly.  She enjoyed helping out, especially with the cooking and shopping.  She got a lot of satisfaction out of cooking tasty meals for others.  When she was only in the fourth grade, she would go to school on a Monday and tell all her friends about how she had cooked a grand Sunday dinner with things like meat and potatoes, jello, and sour cream cookies for dessert.  I know that cooking good food for others is something she loved to do all her life.  Also, it was a common sight to see Callie pushing her mom in her wheelchair at the local grocery store each week.  Callie memorized where everything was and became a great bargain shopper like her mom.  Another thing she had to do at a young age due to her mom’s disease was to do her own hair.  Scott helped with this, and he got pretty good at it.  But Callie learned quickly too.  By age nine she could french braid her own hair.  The other girl’s her age were so impressed.  She was a giant help to her mom and family.  While she took on big responsibilities for one so young, she felt joy in helping her family.

Callie was a talented person, and she knew how to work hard.  She was a good student who got straight A’s and was in the gifted classes. She was gifted musically too and loved to sing and play the piano.  She was also good at sports and ran track in middle school.  She was competitive and did quite well.  Her running buddy was her good friend Domini.  They met in fourth grade, and they remained good friends all of Callie’s life.  While they were young, they had classes at school, took piano lessons and were on the track team together.  Dominic said that Callie always made her laugh, and they had a lot of good times together.

Callie loved spending time with her family and extended family.  She loved the many Flake family get togethers, and she was close with the Flake family.  Callie and her family also got together with the Canfield side at least once a year, since they lived a lot further away. At these reunions, Callie, my sister Aubree, cousin Lisa and I would play nonstop.  The four of us had a blast whenever we got together.  Callie was definitely the center of it all.  She made us laugh a lot.  We had many sleepovers at Grandma Canfield’s, where we got to wear her fancy silk pajamas and wake up to Great-Grandma Gee’s french toast (so good!).  We had a couple reunions in Snowflake, one at Lake Powell and at our cabin at Bear Lake.  We had many priceless memories together for which I am so grateful.  Cousin time is seriously the best!

Callie and I loved our time together.  Between family get togethers we tried to stay in touch by writing letters.  One summer, her family invited me to come stay with them for a week.  I flew out there.  I remember being impressed with Callie’s cooking and shopping skills and how much she helped her mom.  While there, we rode horses and three wheelers, went on hikes, visited friends and family, and of course, went out for ice cream.  I was really into gymnastics at the time, and I remember doing my floor routine on their front lawn for the family.  Afterwards, Uncle Scott, Callie’s dad, got up and performed his version of gymnastics.  It was surprisingly impressive with all his twists, twirls, and “stick-it” landings.  He bragged that he had gone to the Olympics for gymnastics back in the day which according to him was in the early-1900s!  I laughed a lot and had so much fun during my stay there.  Their family had the best spirit in their home.  They were so happy and fun to be around.  I was sad to leave.

Callie was close to her brother.  She once remembered, “Lance and I have always had a good relationship because it has always been just me and him.  We didn’t fight very often because we only had each other.  We spent a lot of time together.  He has always been a good brother that I look up to.  He is happy and just an amazing person.”

It was very difficult for Callie to discover that her younger brother had the disease.  She was in sixth grade and Lance in fourth when her dad received a letter in the mail from the school nurse informing them that Lance had poor vision.  He knew then that Lance had the disease, and he told Carolyn of this.  However, they both kept it from Lance and Callie. They decided to have Lance’s eyes checked by a doctor to confirm their fears.  Callie was home with her mom while her dad and Lance were at the eye doctor.  She noticed that her mom was nervous and remembered her saying, “I hope so bad that Lance does not have this disease.”  At this point Callie realized that her brother possibly had this disease, depending on the outcome of this eye doctor visit.  She waited nervously with her mom. When her dad and Lance walked in the door, Callie could tell by the look on her dad’s face that Lance had it.  Lance was too young to realize what was happening, and he went to bed and fell asleep.  Her parents, with their broken hearts, got into the car and left for a drive so they could mourn in private.  They did not realize that Callie knew.  She was shocked and not sure what to think as her own heart was also breaking.  She escaped to the cedars behind their house.  She walked and walked for many hours as she thought about what it all meant for her little brother.  Knowing the struggles her mom was experiencing, it scared her to think of this happening to Lance.  She begged God over and over to take this horrible thing from Lance and give it to her instead.

Callie remembers this time being very hard.  Lance would not realize he had this disease until a couple of years later.  He asked his dad if he had it, and Scott told him that he did. Lance was pretty distraught about it, and Callie remembers that her parents bought him a new bike to help cheer him up.  It worked, and Lance took on this disease without loosing his big smile on his face.  In fact, I think it just got bigger.

Callie was very inspired as she watched Lance deal with this disease.  She said it was hard for him to start using a wheelchair, take special classes and ride the handicapped bus.  He just wanted to be seen as normal, but he took on these things with grace and a good attitude.  This touched Callie and many others.

Sitting on the back row of her seventh grade Social Studies class, Callie tried to read the assignment written on the board, but she could not see it.  Her eyesight was getting worse. It suddenly hit her that she too had this disease; she just knew deep down inside that she had it.  She did not feel scared though.  She felt calm and reassured that is was going to be OK.  She considered telling her parents, but she knew it would devastate them, just like it did with Lance.  She decided not say anything about it to them or anyone else because she did not want people to feel sorry for her or treat her differently.  She just wanted to be normal.

Interestingly, I remember a time when, after we all found out about Lance having the disease, the Canfield family went to Snowflake for a family reunion.  One afternoon, Callie, Aubree, Lisa and I were lying on the trampoline staring up into the grand sky.  We began a solemn discussion about the real possibility that we too could possibly have this disease, since Lance was undeniable proof that this disease could be passed on.  We were all a bit terrified by this.  I can’t remember what we all said, but I do remember feeling comforted that we had each other.  Looking back I now know that Callie already knew she had it, but she was keeping it to herself.  Later of course Aubree and I would realize that we too had it, so in reality we all had it except for sweet Lisa.  Even now, I still find comfort that we still have each other.

Callie did not tell anyone about her worsening eyesight and with much effort kept it hidden for almost two years.  For example, at the beginning of her ninth grade year, there were basketball tryouts.  Although she really wanted to be on the team, she did not try out because she found out that a physical was required.  This would reveal her bad eyesight. Then at the end of the year there was cheerleading tryouts.  Her good friends were going to try out and she really wanted to do it too.  By this time her eye sight was getting to be pretty bad, and she knew that she could not keep it hidden for much longer.  As such, she decided to try out and get the revealing physical.  She had an appointment made, and her dad took her.  Her eyes were checked, and her vision had deteriorated so much that she could only see the top two lines of the eye chart.  After the physical, the doctor sat down with Scott and told him that Callie had horrible vision and very much needed to be seen by an eye doctor.  Heartbroken, Scott knew this meant that she had the disease and explained this to the doctor.  During this conversation, Callie started to cry, real hard, and could not stop.  It was like all the emotions that she had carried the past two years just came flooding out and could not be stopped.  When they got back to the car, she told her dad that she had known since seventh grade.  He was even more shocked by this confession, and he could see that she was trying to protect him and Carolyn.

Callie continued to cry on the drive home and also when Scott told Carolyn.  She could see the devastation in her parents.  Her parents then told their families.  That same day, the bishop’s wife and Callie’s church young women’s leader came to visit and comfort her, and she still continued to cry.  She was so upset.

Before school started her sophomore year, Callie and her dad informed all of her teachers of her poor eyesight and need for extra help.  This was necessary, but it was very hard for Callie to begin to tell people that she had the disease.  She did not want them to treat her different.  So much so that she still did not even tell her friends.  That year they began to notice her bad vision, yet they did not say anything about it since Callie did not mention it.  They also noticed her balance getting worse.  Lance had already begun to use a wheelchair at school, and they also knew her mom.  Clearly they new about the disease, put two and two together, and realized that Callie also had it.  Although they did not talk about it, it broke their hearts.  They watched Callie’s example as she went about life with a smile on her face and a great love for life.  She was loved by many.

Callie did make the cheer team, and she was very excited about it.  Her brother Lance’s great love of sports had influenced her, so she really loved the Snow Flake Lobos too.  One friend called her the Lobo’s number one fan, so of course, she was pumped to cheer for them.  In fact, she ended up  cheering all three years of high school.  She thought that the disease would make it too hard to do it more than a year.  Her first year of cheer, the disease affected her balance very little.  Through hard work and persistence she became good at it.  Her smile and enthusiasm were infectious, and she had true passion.  Her passion and hard work helped her to do well through to the end of her Junior year.  By that time though her balance was becoming a lot worse.  She had even fallen once during a dance performance.  As an aside, at this time when she walked, she was off-balance and would stagger, and in the months to come, she would even have to hold on to someone’s arm for help walking.  As such when trying out for cheer for her Senior year, her decline in balance had become very noticeable.  She tried so hard, but she was very disappointed with her performance.  She was certain that she would not make the team.  The results of who made the squad were to be posted late that night.  The girls all stayed up, but Callie sadly went home to bed, not wanting to await the results.  When it was posted, Callie was on the list!  The girls all rushed to tell Callie; they woke her up and excitedly jumped on her bed telling her she made it.  Callie was so happy, and everyone was so happy for her!

Callie grew close to her cheer team, and they had many good times together.  For example, on the bus rides for away trips, Callie would get them all laughing with her perfect impersonations of Lloyd from the movie “Dumb and Dumber.”  When they would stop for dinner, the team would often tell their servers as a joke that it was somebody’s birthday.  One particular night, the server brought out a birthday dessert, and they all joined in singing “Happy Birthday!”  Callie started singing the loudest and really got into it.  The next thing she knew the server placed the dessert in from of her, and she realized the joke was on her that day.  She blushed and smiled real big as everyone burst out laughing at the hilarious situation.  They all enjoyed the time they had with Callie.  It was so neat that she could still be on the cheer team despite her failing abilities.  Callie fit right in, and the girls were really good to her. Callie helped to bring their team closer together.

Callie had two best friends throughout High School: Domini and Felicia.  The three of them had a lot of fun together and were inseparable.  Domini was the first to turn 16 and get a car.  They all loved driving together around town with the music blasting, singing along at the top of their lungs.  They also got a kick out of doing funny things together like going through a drive through to order hot water with ice!  At Callie’s many requests, they would go to Dairy Queen for ice cream.  She LOVED ice cream.  Another of their favorite activities was to dress up and make videos.  They specialized in cooking shows and exercise videos.  Callie was good at getting into character; she was so funny!

Callie was a very sweet girl who seemed to be soft-spoken and shy, but when you got to know her, she would surprise you with how funny and fearless she was.  She and Felicia loved singing and participated in the school choir.  One day there were auditions for a solo. The song was a gospel rock number that they poked fun at, and Felicia dared Callie to try out.  Callie boldly went to the front of the class to do it.  When it was her turn, she purposely made it sound horrible.  She sang real loud, off-key and even put her body into it.  The whole time Callie kept a straight face.  She really was fearless.

Callie was famous for her poems.  They were funny, clever and sweet.  Often her poems were signed, “Calcutta,” a nickname given her by her two best friends.  Throughout high school she would write poems on a regular basis for someone to help brighten their day. While her writing truly did brighten many lives, in the end, it was really her example that most lifted those around her.

Callie was a great party planner.  She made long lists of really fun things to do for her and all her many friends (boys and girls), and her friends would tease her about these lists.  On the weekends, they would ask her, “What are we going to do?” and together they would pick something from her list.  They did fun activities like having a bon fire by burning a cedar tree, playing night games, making forts, and riding four-wheelers and horses.  The girls would have sleepovers in Callie’s barn.  Of course, many of things on Callie’s lists were pranks.  She was quite the prankster.  The Flake family is very good at its pranks, and Callie lived up to her family name quite well.  Here are some of the pranks Callie helped plan and do: penny tapping, toilet papering, car soaping, gluing coins to the floor in front of school vending machines, setting off car horns during school or stake dances by propping a stick between the steering wheel and driver’s seat, putting chickens through the window of the school during a dance, and tying people together with thread at school dances when the lights were low.  Of note, she was also very good at prank phone calls. Typically she would go by the name of “Sophrina” for such calls.  She made a lot of people laugh, and knowing that sweet Callie was the instigator, made it even more funny.

Callie was such good person, deep down to the core.  One way this was apparent was in her choice of media.  She loved to watch wholesome TV shows like “Little House on the Prairie” and “Touched by an Angel.”  Her favorite movies were Disney and musicals.  Even the music to which she listened was inspiring and clean.  Another evidence of her goodness, was the way she treated others.  She was so kind and loving.  Also, she could not tell a lie and was fiercely obedient to God’s commandments.  For instance, when Callie and I were just in High School, along with my sister Aubree, the three of us went on an Alaskan cruise with my parents and Grandma Canfield.  We had so much fun on that large cruise boat and became well-known among the passengers as we were some of the only teenagers and were constantly going about the ship playing, nonstop.  One day my dad told us that we could order the drink of the day since it was a free, non-alcoholic fruit cocktail.  That evening there were family friendly entertainment shows and the three of us went and sat down, waiting for the show to begin.  A waiter came by and asked if we would like a drink.  We said we did and ordered the drink of the day.  He brought us out what looked like hot chocolate with whipped cream and chocolate shavings on top.  We had never had a fruit cocktail before and were confused since it did not look fruity.  We took a sip, and it burned our throats as it went down…not because it was hot though.  We looked at each other, shocked as we realized the drink was alcohol!  We ran outside and began spitting what we could over the rail into the ocean.  This was the first time any of us had tasted alcohol.  Callie was furious!!!  She marched back in, found the waiter who had given us the drinks, and began to chew him out for serving us alcohol when we were obviously under age.  For the rest of our trip, it took a lot of convincing from us and my parents that she did nothing wrong.  I was amazed by Callie’s great desire to be obedient and have always admired her unshakable testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

 

Despite poor health, Callie’s mom was still a big part of her life.  By the time Callie was in High School, Carolyn had become too weak to do much.  Callie would find her mom sitting somewhere or lying in bed when she came home from school.  She would go to her to tell her about her day.  Carolyn was a great listener, and she would get so excited, even about the little things.  She wanted to hear all the details.  In particular, Callie’s mom liked hearing about her dating life.  Callie was a beautiful blond cheerleader, and she always had a date for school dances.  Whenever Callie was asked to a school dance, it was the most exciting thing for Carolyn.  Callie cherished this time with her mom and knew that her mom dearly loved her.

One day during her Senior year, Domini was driving Callie home from school, and Callie told Domini that her mom was not doing well.  Carolyn had become so weak that she could no longer eat or drink.  A short time later, during the night, Carolyn’s breathing became irregular.  Early that morning, Scott, Callie and Lance all gathered around her as she passed peacefully away.  At this time of grief, Callie’s many friends all came together to help her through this difficult time.  The  morning her mom passed away, they all gathered at the school to offer a prayer for her and her family.

I know it was very hard for Callie to lose her mom.  She missed her so much!  A couple of months after Carolyn passed away, Callie was sitting in English class when they announced over the intercom the prom queen and king nominees.  She thought she heard her name but was not sure, so she asked around.  When she found out that her name had been listed, she could not contain her emotions and asked the teacher if she could go to the bathroom.  When she got there, she burst into tears because she could very clearly see her mom shouting for joy and telling everyone.  Callie did win prom queen, and she knew her mom was overjoyed for her.