SCA7 Through My Eyes

Sometimes life can be hard…and then it gets harder.  This is the case with SCA 7.  Yet, there is still joy and happiness to be had.  In the Sermon on the Mount our Savior said, “Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted” (Matthew 5:4).  My grandparents were comforted, and their comfort came in small and simple, yet powerful ways.

In the two years following Don’s death, my grandparents faced two more very difficult trials.

The first  trial was the loss of my grandpa’s job with the Air Force. It is like he said, “The Air Force does not want pilots that cannot see and talk.”  He was medically retired.  My grandparents did not know how they were going to support themselves.  They knew the Air Force would give them money for retirement, but they did not know if it would be enough. My grandpa was doubtful he would find another job because of his present disabilities. Moreover, his health continued to decline; his future health was uncertain.  Perhaps my grandma could have gone to work, but it would have been hard.  These were scary times.

The second trial was that my grandma started to suffer from rheumatoid arthritis.  This affliction is when your immune system attacks your joints.  It causes joint pain, swelling and stiffness along with fatigue and muscle pain.  My grandma would not have another day in her life without pain.  Through the years this disease caused her hands and feet to  deform.  This and the loss of my grandpa’s job came within a few years of Don’s death.  Grandma had to carry such heavy burdens and rheumatoid arthritis on top of it all.  To me, it just seems like too much, but she faced this disease with such strength and grace.  She very rarely complained and kept a positive attitude.  My husband and I lived with my grandma for a few months once, and we never knew that she was in pain because she never said anything about it. Only in an occasional wince as she stood up or sat down could we see it in her eyes.  To endure intense family trials while living in pain all the time and stay positive is such a remarkable feat.  My grandma truly is an awe-inspiring  person.

Despite all that my grandparents had to endure while living in Nebraska, they did have good memories there too.  Good memories together as a family and with their friends.  A part of their lives that is important to mention is their unselfish service to others.  This is something they spent a lot of time doing throughout their lives, especially while living in Nebraska.  My grandma obviously spent a lot of her time caring for Chris and Don along with their other children.  She was also a great cook and a skilled seamstress.  She sewed most of their clothes along with their Halloween costumes and Easter dresses.

They also served a lot in their church.  My grandpa had served in the Bishopric and my grandma as the Primary and then Relief Society president.  Anyone that is a member of the LDS church knows that these callings take many, many hours of service.  All callings in our church are completely unpaid and voluntary.  One example of the time and service she gave is when she served as Relief Society president.  At this time, local Relief Societies had to raise their own money.  My grandma helped to organize bazaars where she and the other women would make home-made items to sell.  She and my grandpa made many good friends in their ward.  I mention this not to brag but to make the point that in this very hard and trying time in their lives, they had much joy and happiness in great measure because of their service to others.  I feel like their service was a great comfort to their broken and heavy hearts.

They eventually had to say goodbye to all their friends in Nebraska since they decided to retire in Bountiful, Utah.  Both their families lived in nearby Salt Lake City, and this is where they grew up.  It was like coming home.  My grandpa got a job with the State where he worked in the Department of Social Services.  He was in charge of the Welfare computer systems.  He was able to do this job since he had gained computer skills while working in the Air Force.  He still had enough eyesight to see well enough to do this. Thankfully, they were able to support themselves, and it worked out.

However, my grandparents again had to face two more very difficult trials. The second was particularly painful!

First, my grandpa was only able to work for the Social Services department for around six years at which point his eyesight and health had become too bad.  He retired, and he would not have another job for the rest of his life.  Fortunately, his retirement was enough to support them.

Second, my aunt Cathy, the third of the four living sisters, failed a school eye test.  She was around 15 years old.  They took her to an eye doctor, and just like her dad, her vision could not be helped with glasses or surgery.  This was a very big shock!  Cathy was beginning to have the same problems as her dad!  This was not good!

They began to put the pieces of the puzzle together.  They knew that my grandpa inherited this disease from his dad, but they were unsure if it was going pass onto their children.  Was this what had caused the deaths of Chris and Don? Worst of all, did their other children have this disease too?  Their biggest fears were beginning to happen.  My grandma said that from this point on she worried all the time about her other children showing signs of this disease.

Here are her words: “Naturally I began to ask, ‘Why us?’  We just couldn’t understand why our family had to have this strange disease that nobody knew much about.”

I interviewed my grandma when I was in college, so I could record all these stores in her own words.  When she said that she had asked, “Why us?”, I remember thinking, “Is that it?  Shouldn’t it be more like, “How could God make my family suffer so much!?”  I already knew most of these stories and what was to come.  I also knew, in part, how incredibly hard it was going to get.  There had been times throughout my own life when I felt so angry with God.  It deeply hurt to watch  my mom, aunt, cousins, and sister struggle so much from this disease.  It seemed to never end, and I felt like it was way too much!  But I remember being surprised at how calm and not angry my grandma was about it all.  I knew that she too felt the deep heartache of seeing her family struggle, even more so than me. Yet she was not angry with God, nor did she doubt His love and care for her.  To me it was like she had not doubted God throughout her entire life.  It was incredible!

Despite all the hardships that defined her life, she was happy.  She was anything but a grouchy old woman…although she had every right to be.  She was so peaceful and calm and deeply happy.  Visits with her were so pleasant, and you could feel her love for you.  Her home had a spirit of peace and joy.

This is why I chose the picture at the beginning of this post.  It is pouring rain, but it is not all dark and dreary.  There is brightness, and it is beautiful. This is my grandma’s life.

My grandma’s example has greatly influenced me. Her uncomplaining positive attitude and undoubting faith are two qualities that I want to emulate.  She has gone through so much and faced it valiantly.  She found true happiness.  I see such greatness in her.

My grandma passed away this month.  Her grand reunion in Paradise makes me so happy.  I especially love the thought of her hugging my mom, SCA 7 free! Here are her words from an interview almost a decade ago: “I look forward to the time to when I can be together with my family again and with my Heavenly Father and Savior. What a glorious day that will be!”

Next Post:  Aunt Cathy